Being Okay With Me

I previously have mentioned how I broke a major female stereotype in getting rid of a large amount of shoes. I also got rid of most of my fingernail polishes and pared my make up down so that it is only what I actually need in my day to day life. Part of the reason I did this was because I wanted to de-clutter and have less to worry about, but that wasn’t the only reason.

I don’t know if it is because I’m pregnant and expecting a girl, or if I’m just more comfortable with being who I want to be but I realized that a lot of what I have/had has to do with society pressures. I had a lot of make up because I see all these pins on pinterest that make me think I should care a lot about my eye make up. As a woman I’m supposed to have lots of shoes. My outfit is supposed to be perfectly put together and styled to a T.

And since being pregnant, and especially since finding out I’m having a girl, I realized that I am not that person who cares about that and I don’t want to be. While, I don’t fault anyone for finding things important that I don’t. I’ve found that I am more okay with admitting to myself who I want to be.

I want to be the kind of person who has a closet full of shoes she will actually wear and enjoy, so I got rid of the heels.

I owned tons of fingernail polish, but in reality I rarely wear it.

While I enjoy seeing perfectly put together outfits as much as the next person, in my heart of hearts I am a cute, comfortable casual girl. Jeans and a t-shirt are my go to and I’m okay with being that girl. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I won’t be able to slap together the perfect “going out” outfit, or know how to look “boho chic”. While sure, they are cute looks, they aren’t me. Those pinterest pins of millions of perfect outfits just exhaust me with how much I’d have to keep in my closet.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I want to be me and not worry about what should be cool or hot or in style. And, I think a big part of that is that I want my daughter to be okay with being her. Girls have it hard these days. Whether it is in your face advertising of “this is what you should want to be as a female” or more subtle cues, girls and women are constantly being shown who they should want to be, who they should strive to be and judged more harshly when those expectations aren’t met.

So, my make up drawer is super neat because I can spread out the few items I need. My nails (toes and fingers) are naked. I only own 3 pairs of heels. My wardrobe doesn’t have those “Must have” pieces and I rarely wear jewelry. And, I’m OKAY with that. I’m happier now than I was when I thought I needed to worry about those things.

And don’t misunderstand, it isn’t that I’m not vain. I’ll give a dirty look to anyone who says “it’s only hair” when discussing my locks. I just don’t happen to want to do some new style with it every day… which is good since I’ve got no hair skills.

My main point is that I’m okay with who I am, even though it is necessarily what society expects of me. I have those things I care about and I have things I don’t care about.

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