Staying at Home

Friday, I posted about leaving my job. Today I want to discuss that a little more.

A few months ago, Joseph and I originally started to discuss me leaving my job. I took a while to come around to this idea because while I think there is a lot of value to be had with a stay at home mom, the thought of being just a stay at home wife was hard for me to come around too.

I did a lot of googling about this, to read opinions, thoughts, up and downsides to it. I took into consideration both the positives and the negatives I read about stay at home wives and eventually I found myself feeling like I wanted to defend stay at home wives.

A great deal of society looks at women who stay at home without a child as someone pushing back the feminist movement, worthless to society and someone who is lazy and just wants to be taken care of.

The truth of the matter, at least for me, is that I’ve been working in a real job since I was 15. I’ve never taken the time to figure out what I want to do, I’ve never been without a 40 hour a week job, I’ve never had an unstructured life.

At work, while I love the people I work with and feel extremely lucky to have a boss I adore, the job wasn’t the best fit for me. After a while I found myself getting more frustrated by angry customers and unable to just let things roll off my shoulders. Additionally, I’m unable to focus on school like I would like to after I went back to school.

Eventually I stopped thinking of this as being a stay at home wife and seeing it for all the opportunities it presented. I’d be able to really focus on school, I’d be able to get stuff done around the house, I’d be able to explore my interests, focus on things I don’t have time for.

So, if someone wants to assume I’m pushing back the feminist movement because I choose to not have a job at this time, I’m alright with that. If someone only sees my worth based off of my job than they probably don’t actually know me very well and I’m alright with that. And, if someone assumes because I’m not out there busting my butt at a job where I make a fraction of what my husband makes that I am lazy and only want to be taken care of, they can make that assumption.

I’ve found that I see great worth in anyone who stay home and keep the house running so that on the weekends and weeknights they can enjoy their time, their spouse and their life. I see great value in having the choice on how best to be happy and having the opportunity to figure it out.

I’m excited that I get to focus on school because I am that person who reads the textbook and does all the homework.

I’m excited to get to explore interests and talents.

I’m excited not to be tied to a schedule that sucks up my week and leaves me living only for the weekend.

I’m excited to have time to write and write and write.

I’m excited to just have time to get the house together and in order.

I’m excited to not know exactly what I’m going to do next.

1 Comment

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One response to “Staying at Home

  1. Love this post! Being a SAHW is much more challenging that most make it out to be. It’s rewarding, but can be very lonely if you’re not careful. My biggest hurdle was making a routine and sticking to it Monday-Friday, every week. Even if it’s just, get up, make a cup of coffee, make the bed, unload the dishwasher/clean the kitchen, THEN sit down with a talk show on tv, it helps to have some kind of routine everyday. Enjoy Sandra, you deserve it!

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