Rules to Live By
Be Sandra and be okay with that
Laugh it off with intent
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Opinion is not fact
Words have power to hurt or heal, choose heal
Act the way I want to feel
An imperfect attempt is better than a perfect dream
Love is always the most important
While trying to put into thought everything I wanted to focus on, I thought of these rules or guidelines or whatever I should all them. These are things I need to focus on and remember to meet my goals.
I’ve had quite the struggle trying to figure out in which order I want to work on my list. Everything is important in its own way and a part of me wants to dive in with gusto and tackle them all, but I know that is a sure fire way to fail. This is currently the order in which I plan to work on each goal, but of course it can change.
Attitude & Positive Thinking: I really need to work on my attitude. Although I try and stay positive a good deal of the time there are certain things that instantly turn me negative. I need to watch both the words that come out of my mouth and the ones that enter my head. Instead of focusing on the negative I need to reframe and find the positive. Life is too short to constantly be negative and I want to be as happy as possible.
Body Image w/ Diet & Exercise: I’ve struggled with my body image for as long as I can remember. I’ve written about it before and it’s possibly the most painful thing I have to share. I’ve never felt more exposed then when I talk about my insecurities with my body. I have a skewed self image and I have a hard time knowing what I really look like. I know how I want to feel and it isn’t skinny. I want to feel strong and confident. I want to be healthy. I want my body to work for me and not against me. I want to know that the food I eat is to the best benefit of my body 90% of the time. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know the girl looking back at me and feel comfortable with that girl.
Work Satisfaction: I’m ridiculously blessed that I’ve never had to worry about finding a job. Sure, I don’t always enjoy my job and parts of it aren’t pleasant but it’s a great job. I’m blessed to have an amazing job, flexible job hours and the ability to work from home when I need it. My biggest complaint with the job is I don’t have enough work to do. I need to focus on getting my tasks done and taking initiative. Being more pleasant about those I work with and the work I do and complain less just because parts of it might suck.
Spirituality: My belief in God was never a question. It’s always just felt natural. But, I wasn’t raised in the sort of household that goes to church every weekend and I always feel like I’m trying to play catch up. I feel like I’m lost and never get this “connection” other Christian’s speak of. I also have this fear of being judged simply for being a Christian. I live in the south, but I’m surrounded by extremely smart people who I feel would think I’m an idiot for believing in God. It’s a foolish thing to worry about and I try not to let it bother me… it shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I don’t doubt that people know what I believe, but sharing it is tough. I think part of it is that I also don’t want to be associated with the people who call themselves Christians but are so filled with hate they all the focus on are what sins others are committing.
Writing: I would hope that my love of writing would be evident. I write and write and then I write some more. I update this blog because I want to write. I’ve written countless number of words that no one ever sees because it will never be good enough. I write what is true and what I wish, and about worlds that never exist.
Budget: Here’s a secret, Joseph and I didn’t always have our finances together. He had less control over his finances then I did, but it was easier for me since I had less responsibilities. But when it comes to money, I stay calmer and remember to pay the bills on time. I can sit down and make sure our bills get paid before we have fun with the money. But when it comes to sticking to our budget, I fail every single month. I can control my money to an extent but at the end of the day it always feels like it’s controlling me more.
Education: I graduated high school at 16 because learning has always been a quick and easy process. The problem with that is I was left at 16 having to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It was an impossible task and became even harder as I figured out how much I detest driving back and forth to school, sitting in class for hours. Going into debt wasn’t worth it since I felt like I was simply settling on a major. It has taken me a while to figure out, acknowledge and accept what I wanted to go to college for. But for now, I’m going to try and get a BA in English. One class at a time, and I’m hoping to embrace every minute.
Relationship with Friends & Family: The easiest relationship I have besides Joseph is with my mom. We pretty seamlessly moved from a mother/daughter relationship to one of friends. But, for many reasons my dad and I don’t have as easy a relationship. For one thing, we just relate on less levels, but I love him a lot. I’m not always the best at checking up on my friends, which I think is par for the course for most people. But these relationships are important to me and I want them to know that. I want to strengthen these bonds and make sure that my friends and family have no doubt of my love for them.
Marriage & Intimacy: My relationship with Joseph is probably one of the most important aspects of my life. I’ve committed myself to be his constant partner throughout our lives. It’s so easy to sometimes take him for granted because I trust that he will always be there. If I don’t work at appreciating him now, it will only get harder when we have kids. I need to focus on being more intimate with him in all facets of our relationship.
The House; Organizing, Neatness & Decorating: Whenever I have a clean house, I feel so content and put together but I’m horrible at keeping up with it. Too often I’m left scrambling to catch up instead of working a little bit to clean up. A big part of it is that I simply have too much stuff and a lot of it are things I don’t want. But, I also would rather wish I had a clean house then put in the trouble for it.
Interests, Hobbies, Extra-curricular: One thing that I know would benefit me greatly is if I explored my interests, passions and hobbies more. I tend to put a lot of things I enjoy on the backburner and instead find the at the end of the day I feel incomplete. I need to explore possible interests more and keep track of what turns out to be more than just a fleeting fantasy. How can exploring my interests make me happier? How can it help me branch out and grow? What interests do I have that I’ve not yet discovered?
Making Myself Whole: For the last month, the month before I turn 26, I want to try and bring all these ideas, goals and habits together. I’ve taken a whole year to really try and figure out what makes me happiest. I know with a little hard work and commitment, these goals are doable to keep up with and I know that if I’m happier, it will make the people around me happier as well.