Guy Talk: Marriage Advice

A few weeks back, Sandra asked me if I’d like a weekend blog spot on her blog, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it.  I’ve done blogging before, usually about sports or fussing about crazy people, but never about real life things on a blog I actually expected to people to read.

So I’m not sure what I can talk about or not, but I would like to start by giving “husband advice”.   Recently, I watched my own wedding video and saw that “advice” that people gave to me: don’t go to bed angry, or remember she’s always right… the list goes on.  So now only 3 years into my married life, I thought about what advice I would give to a friend getting married, and I think this would be it:

…“Pick your battles wisely”…

 

Which in turn really means a LOT more, but that is something I can discuss later.  It would be easy to fight with Mrs. B about a lot of things (and you can ask her, I do choose to argue for the sake of arguing a lot).  Here are some examples of how to pick your battles wisely:

Ladies, Let your husband win the fights when it isn’t going to affect you too much.  I decided a couple years back that I want to do Warrior Dash’s every year, sometimes twice a year.  Sandra isn’t really into this kind of thing, but at $50 a year… she can let me be crazy for a weekend and go do man things.  Wives/Girlfriends, let him have his own thing and don’t fuss about it.

Men, Listen to your wives. They generally have everyone’s best interest at heart, and have this crazy thing called “women’s intuition”.   It wasn’t but a couple years ago (and it’s happened more than once) that I had female friends that wanted to be more.  I always told Sandra she was wrong, and we were just friends.   Come to find out… I was wrong, they did want more.  If your wife/girlfriend gives you the heads up on things like this, it’s best to believe her and not argue about it.

If Both of you are standing strong on a subject, then sit down and discuss it and things will usually work themselves out.  This is a recent one for us. My brother was selling his motorcycle.  I really wanted it, and Sandra was really nervous about it.  So, we talked about it.  I mean REALLY discussed it.  Finances would’ve been ok, Sandra had already worked out how to come up with the money, but I noticed anytime I brought it up she got nervous and clammed up.  So in discussing it,  we weighed my “want” for a bike vs her nervousness of me driving one.  And her “security gland” is more important than my “wants”.  So we will wait for another time. I’m not mad and there was no argument about it.  Talking out the issues really does work.

So remember, “Pick your Battles”.

So in only 3 years of marriage, that is one thing I’ve learned.  I can’t wait to learn more with my Mrs. B.

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