Bridesmaids: The newest fashion accessory?
You know, I’ve been married for three years, had my wedding, had bridesmaids, so I’m not sure why this bothers me so… but I’ve heard an increasingly amount of talk from Brides, Brides to be, past Brides about what all they put their bridesmaids too and what’s expected of them. It seems like, to me, somewhere along the way, we’ve given this great pass to brides that because they are stressed they don’t have to treat their friends like human beings.
Here are common complaints from Brides that I’ve had the lucky chance to hear and/or see on Bridezillas:
- I can’t believe Jill got pregnant. Doesn’t she know my wedding is in three months? I can’t have a fat bridesmaid in my pictures.
- As much as I love Christina, I hate her tattoos, I am going to need her to cover them up for the wedding!
- I really wanted to have three bridesmaids but Tom only wants his two brothers on his side, now I have to kick someone out.
- Or, even worse, Megan isn’t living up to all her bridesmaid duties, so I’m kicking her out, now we’ll have to kick out Derrick’s brother so the sides will be even.
- Why won’t those heifer’s take me to Vegas on my bachelorette like I told them I wanted! *insert foot stamp*
- How dare Samantha get engaged/married when my wedding is in x number of months/weeks/days.
Is it just me, or does it appear that today’s Bride has forgotten that her nearest and dearest friends are gracing her with the honor of agreeing to stand by her side, and stand up for her, on the most important day of her life. I mean, it isn’t like there is a raffle to see who is lucky enough to be picked to spend, on average $1,695 to stand up in a wedding. Because the fact of the matter is, the Bride ASKS her nearest and dearest for the honor.
But it seems, as wedding planning progresses, and she is surrounded by yes men all convincing her that her day is the most important thing EVER (ignoring the fact that these are all people wanting her to spend her money on their product/service/etc), she forgets that her friends are not simply accessories.
Your wedding, is never going to be as important to other people as it is to you. That means that your wedding party isn’t going to put starting a family on hold. They shouldn’t be requested to cover up their tattoos, which for most people are a visual way to share a part of who they are with the world. They shouldn’t be treated as place holders so everything looks even, nor should they be treated like their bank account is yours for the taking because you are THE BRIDE.
The thing that really bothers me, is the amount of validation from other people on how “No, it’s perfectly alright to get rid of the pregnant one, it’s YOUR special day after all.” (insert any validation for the crappy scenarios listed above) Seriously? You are willing to offend, hurt and risk the friendship of someone you feel close enough to want in your wedding because it’s YOUR special day? With that sort of attitude, I’m amazed Brides like that even have friends to stand up for them.
Because, when it comes down to it, once your ONE day of being the bride is over, you are still going to want to have these friends around you for when you get pregnant and you need someone to cower at your every demand for your baby shower.
Your friends are not accessories to change for pictures; to put their life on hold so as to not steal your “glory”.
Your friends are doing YOU the favor.